“I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.” - Fanie Lou Hamer

That probably rings true to a lot of us right now. Another case of hypocrisy and greed, a miscarriage of justice, multiple abuses of power, a global pandemic called Racism and all the isms that come along with it, and the classism that is shrinking what was once called the middle class. Doom and gloom on the 24 hour news, tuning into that frequency will probably make you sick and tired, and angry, and sad, and if you’re not careful it can play a trick on you.

Machine “learning.” The algorithm has no rhythm, the pulse that drives the heartbeat has that. The sound within the sound, the light within the light.

“Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.” The man behind the curtain is just another construct, and illusion. So what’s the solution?

Breathe. Listen. Your quest, should you choose to accept it is to find your purpose, and live it. Nobody can find or define it for you, but should you choose to go on this mission there will be forces, energies, and beings that will assist you on your journey. There will be times when you will feel lost, defeated, tired and alone, but you are never alone, never truly lost and always worthy. Just when you feel like all hope is gone and that you can’t go on is just before everything comes back together. You gotta get down, to get on up.

So be not weary, because when you’re experiencing the dreary road, you are still on the hero’s journey. Maybe this was just the part where you rejected the calling, because you needed a break.

But now it’s time to get back up, march on forward, and meet your destiny.

Has spring sprung?

I guess it’s officially springing on Monday, according to the google search I quickly did while writing these words. So it’s a good time to clean things out. Write before writing these words I cleaned about half of my tabs from my browser, and I still have more tabs open then I probably need. I just closed another one, and it made me feel better.

So spring is springing into action on Monday, which means that this is still technically winter, and hibernation is calling me to my bed tonight. So I’m gonna turn in. Good night.

I saw a quote today that says, “The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice” -Peggy O’Mara

About a month ago I started a job working for a company called Chess At Three which uses storytelling to teach kids, as young as 3, chess. I’m currently teaching about 15 kids, including some group classes. So learning how to be an effective, positive influence on young minds has been on my mind. As I continue to learn and grow myself, I try to be more mindful of my thoughts. The last few weeks I was feeling a little down, and then I was getting down on myself for feeling down, because… “why was this happening to me?” I’ve been meditating, writing, doing mantra work, maybe I could do more, but overall I’ve been working mindfully, so why me?

I’m mostly through the fog now, and it was a great opportunity to practice something else I’ve been working on; grace. If I were a child, going through a rough patch for whatever reason, how would I talk to that child? When we talk to ourselves, maybe we should remember our inner child, and be graceful to ourselves. Sometimes we’re gonna have dark days, even while we focus on the sunny side of life, and that is okay. Grace, I’m learning what that means. To me it goes back to the golden rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. And also remember to reflect that kindness back towards yourself, so that your interactions with others are that much brighter. We can build ourselves up, by building ourselves up. I think Karma is a circle not a yo-yo, that’s why if we’re not careful we can spiral downwards. So let’s circle up… and take flight.

On the DTFH, the Duncan Trussell Family Hour, Ram Dass comes up a lot, and now I’m seeing him pop up everywhere. I’m realizing that he was also the author of a book called “Be Here Now” that somebody was trying to hip me to back in the day. I didn’t read it then, the title alone was the message I needed at the time.

A lot of time back then was spent dwelling on what might come to pass, and if I could have done something different back then. They say we need to learn our lessons over and over again until we get them and transcend and ultimately ascend. These lessons are hitting differently now, and are coming back around. Ram Dass came up in my sides for an audition, and so I downloaded his talks about the Bhagavad Gita, another text that I haven’t read yet. I read the Ramayana in high school, but never got around to this other great text.

I’m thinking about starting a reading group called the good books, because in the opening recordings of this Ram Dass lecture series he suggests that people read that classic text. He also says that you can’t mess up teaching it, because the Gita will teach itself. This got me thinking. I’ve been involved in a number of book clubs, and I’m hungry for more. I’d like to focus on some of these ancient texts, starting with this one, since it sounds like I can’t mess it up. So if I started a book club, would you like to join? Let me know. I’ll put the word out. I’m thinking of calling it The Good Books. Holler at a scholar.

Muay Thai is the art of 8 limbs, a pair of legs, knees, fists, and elbows. Boxing is called the sweet science, but you mostly use your two fists. Boxing is a science though because there’s also head movement, the dancing of your feet, and then the ability to plan your attack and also stay present and defend.

I practice Muay Thai AKA Thai Boxing AKA Kickboxing, and it is a martial art that has elements of many different martial arts that I love. It’s been a long while since I sparred, and to be honest I haven’t gone to train as much as I should of over the last month, but I went today. It was by no means heavy sparring, but it was a good number of rounds, and now I’m tired.

So good night to you all.

Chess not checkers.

Which means it’s a complicated road to victory, it also means victory can have a multitude of outcomes. If it is a beautiful game, then all of the players can be victorious in playing a wonderful game. There are also stalemates between chess masters where neither one defeats the other. Whatever the outcome it is a wonderful game.

And I’m teaching it….

If you have a loved one who has kids 3 and up, I teach for a company called Chess At 3 which uses storytelling to teach kids, as young as three chess.

Hit me up at alec3chess@gmail.com if you would like to set up a trial lesson at some point.

Peace.

So much things to say, countless unique experiences.

How do we know when to speak and where we should listen?

I remember the old saying, the fool speaks and the wise person listens. But at some point the wise have to share their insight with others, otherwise they’re being foolish. It’s not wise to hoard ideas or resources. Ideas are divine gifts from the universe that we’re supposed to catch, shape and share with the world.

I guess it goes back to inputs and outputs, it’s all a conversation, an exchange.

“What will you put up, when things are falling, falling, falling down? Care ‘bout what you put out, because you know just how it goes. Karma’s gon’ come back around.”

Listen, and speak from the heart when impelled.

Things can always surprise you.

We assume some show is shallow, and then boom, it goes deeper than some other channels that are supposedly “doing the work.”

(Sigh)…. I’m talking about Outlander… Yeah I said it.

My wife duped me into watching this show, because it deals with time travel… which it does… but it’s also a bunch of mushy romance… but the intersection of race, class, imperialism, sexism, witch hunts, sexual orientation, and on and on is pretty impressive. I’m surprised how good this show is, over and over again.

…even if I did get duped into watching this mushy romance through talks of time travel.

Today, I’m gonna share something that I wrote for Mark Shanahan’s class “Story Slam” at Jen Waldman Studio which you can enroll in today if you want to join the online studio for April. It starts on Monday, and I can’t recommend it highly enough. The piece I shared earlier tonight is called “The Bottom of The Ocean” which may be part of the new Solo Piece I’m continuing to develop, but it also has references in it to a song I wrote with my band a couple of years ago, and one of my newer quarantine creations. Instead of showing you the lyrics for those segments, I’m gonna link to the actual songs they reference. If you want to hear the whole thing in context, stay tuned for “The M.A.N.” my solo piece, in whatever form that evolves into in the coming months.

For now, here’s “The Bottom Of The Ocean:

Three years ago

It could have all ended.

Crash.

My face.

On the Williamsburg Bridge.

How did I get there?

I was really going through it,

But you would’ve thought I’d had it all together.

(“Can You Feel It” reference)

How did I get there?

How much time did I lose?

How much of my soul did I gain?

I went into the dessert, but I came out another man.

How did I get here?

How lucky have I been.

I don’t think it was an accident.

A cry for help?

Screaming in the wind,

No answer.

Only,,,, (sigh)…me.

Who else?

Who can save a man who doesn’t want to save himself?

Maybe you didn’t see.

How many times the life raft was thrown to me.

And I burned it to the motherfuckin’ ground!

The bridges.

The chances.

The Ships.

How are your ships?

I jumped ship so many times

I found myself adrift,

Tossed about the torrent,

Pulled down by the rip,

Grasping for the surface to the fragments of my shattered relationships.

Enveloped by the darkness,

Hiding from the light.

“It’s a funny being taken under the wing of a dragon.

It’s a lot warmer than you think.”

Think.

How did I get here.

How did I get there.

My face on the concrete.

Think.

Breaking down, but not broken.

Slightly scathed, but I still have my teeth.

Maybe slightly scarred on my cheek,

But what’s another scar? That will only play to my complicated, conflicted wolf man mystique.

Who am I playing to, and what are the keeps?

How did I get here?

I must have been a sleep.

One too many drinks.

“Are you sure you’re good to ride?”, they said.

I always land on my feet!

I remember crossing that bridge,

Then… black out.

My face was on the concrete.

“Are you okay?”

Asked the good samaritan as he passed me splayed out on the street.

I’m not broken.

I still have my teeth.

In fact I’m pretty unscathed, save for this little mark on my cheek.

How much time did I lose?

How long was I out?

How did I get here?

…Me.

My better parts were trying to send the flares.

Telling me, “You’re getting way off course and heading into dangerous waters, turn back! Find your North Star!”

But I wasn’t listening.

I ain’t trying hear that!

I was making a masterpiece of my own self-Destruction.

But the ancestors were trying to save me.

(The Razor’s Edge reference)

The ancestors are trying to save you!

I could have ended it all three years ago.

The drinking, the self-sabotage, the bullshit.

But I wasn’t ready to leave the shackles yet.

Until one day I saw butterfly effect.

One straw can break the camel’s back.

Small choices have big effect.

Little acts of carelessness can destroy many lives.

Despite my continued journey of recklessness,

I kept being thrown life rafts.

Opportunities.

Chances.

I was never really alone, even when I pushed everybody away,

Built up walls of separation.

Still my better angels came for me.

What did I do to be worthy of redemption?

Why me?

Why am I worth being saved?

Maybe because we’re born worthy.

True value can never be lost.

We may never reach our full potential,

Because there are no limits to possibility.

We each have our own unique set of eyes, our own paths, our own unique version of reality.

There is no objective reality.

So every perspective is valuable.

If small acts of carelessness can ruin countless lives,

Then it follow that small acts of bravery and kindness can save the world.

Maybe it did all end for me three years ago, because who’s me?

The monster that I thought I was or the person I’m now rising to be?

Maybe it was my ancestors that saved me, or the present or future version of me.

Maybe yesterday was just a bad dream.

The world we all knew ended 13 months ago.

It’s up to us today to dream, build, act and speak.

Show up today for the version of tomorrow we want to be.

So there’s a new docuseries on HBO called “Q: Into the Storm.”

My head hurts…

It’s about the Q-Anon phenomenon, and the anonymous dark web like boards that fueled the rise of this… thing…

The first episode is pretty opaque in parts, hard to follow if you’re not familiar with the types of sites that the people use. I’m not going to mention the name of those sites, because my stomach turns just thinking about what was being discussed even in this documentary. One “Q-Tuber,” they call them, said that those sites aren’t for “soft people… and well… I’m nice with my hands! But…I don’t think those sites are for most sane people… no, let me say that those sites are not for people like me who want to nurture and build our mental health, and want to foster a growth mindset.

But that was how I spent part of my night with my wife, watching some of this… dark documentary about a conspiracy theory that had crazy real world consequences that played out in our nation’s Capitol at the beginning of this year. I decided to see this documentary because I love the work that HBO does, and I wanted to educate myself on what exactly would compel people to believe things that are completely outlandish from my perspective. We just watched the second episode and are gonna call it a night for that. Maybe watch some Outlander on something. I still don’t understand how people got swept up in that, but what I saw was broken people, people hurting, people feeling left out of the mainstream and not cool enough for the cool kids, and finding something that made them feel like they had purpose, that they belong.

That gives me hope. It gives me hope because while in my opinion these people fell into a misguided, false sense of purpose, these people at least are clearly hungry for purpose, for change, and maybe us artist and dreamers can present a better alternative. We all need to be loved, and have something to believe in and belong to. I feel like I’ve found my something, and it might not be for everybody, but I want to share it with those who want it. Those who are seeking but haven’t found it yet, because we all belong, that’s why we’re here. Along with my own personal revelation, I’m witnessing an awakening of many people everywhere, and I want to foster those conversations, and tell and elevate stories that celebrate us. The celebration also acknowledges the pain that is also part of the experience, the sunshine and the rain that is this beautiful life.

While we’re here, let’s really be here, even if we’re dreaming, because it’s all a dream. And we can make it a beautiful one.

We made it! 100 consecutive daily posts. And if you’ve been following this hundred post journey, the past few days I’ve been experiencing some minor blues. But I’m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and feel a corner coming up just beyond what I can currently see.

I was in the dumps because some things didn’t go my way, but then some other things came through in a way that is more in line with everything else that I do. Meaning things that weren’t mine didn’t go my way, but new ventures on this path I’m forging came into play. I want to be clear, but I have to be vague until contracts are signed and I’m at liberty to openly share. What I’m saying is, it’s all in the mind, and even in the peaceful mind there will be storms that come. Sometimes it’s a quiet storm, you don’t see or here it coming, but all of a sudden you feel the devastation. And then just like that, the light creeps back in, you can lose it all, and gain everything in an instant.

We’re both the authors and the witnesses of our stories, the way we live our lives, and the stories we tell ourselves and others. We are the authors, the narrators and the protagonists all at the same time. Often we are our biggest antagonist as well, who has ever been harder on you than yourself?

I know that it doesn’t exist, but I’m still often guilty of wanting the easy way, so I take these side chances. When they don’t pan out, I realize, I’m not gonna have a choice, I’m gonna have to step up and be great. But then you have to step up, and be great. Knowing it and doing it are two different things, but they’re also one in the same. Two sides of the same coin. Two sides to every story, but that’s not true, because stories change over time, just like life.

If I’m journaling my journey, does that make me a journalist? If I author my own destiny does that make me a self-determinist? I’ve been on multiple vision quests, and I saw where my soul rests. The Universe is singing through our choices, so I’m voicing my soul, bless.

Did that make sense? Basically, I’m saying bless you wherever you are, know that you’re a star. I’m wishing you all the love and magic on your journey through this thing called life. If it didn’t make sense, then I’ll work to make it more clear. 100 more days starts tomorrow, starting today. I hope to make writing daily a non-negotiable part of my days, along with meditating, and keep building from there. I focus on what positive things I can bring in, and do my best to keep the negativity out. Sometimes we find ourselves in very dark places, but that just helps us recognize the light. Shine on.

It occurs to me as I write this 99th post that it is quite possible that I may have mis labeled a Roman Numeral or two. I definitely caught one around the 67 mark, but for the most part I haven’t been looking back. After I start looking back after I reach the magical 100th post, I’ll probably start looking back.

I know there have been typos, and I wonder how many times I’ve repeated the same thing, in different ways… and maybe not so different ways. Somebody I was talking to recently was talking about how when you start to look at different artists’ bodies of work, you start to see that a lot of times they’re conveying the same core message in different ways. There’s a truth that they’re trying to get at or uncover. I wonder if I’ll find a thread weaving through these writings?

Let’s see, I’ve talked about time travel, manifestation, the multiverse, mental health… mental health… maybe these are the ravings of a mad man. There is definitely plenty to be mad about, and the 24 hour news cycle/ social media addiction that we’re all a party to can make anybody go off of the deep end.

“Have you ever crawled across the razor’s edge? Attracted to the freefall just beyond the ledge. Gambled with your demons when you should have hedged, then I heard a voice and this is what it said...” -Untitled Alec The Third song from January of this year.

I’ve actually experienced the freefall, the complete meltdown, breakdown, or proverbial deep end, and I stayed there a while. Not by choice, I just couldn’t get back. Those were the truly solo days of New York, the lean years, the art wars. Some people caught that something was amiss, but most people couldn’t see beneath the mask I put on. I learned about the mask.

Have you ever worn a mask?

“M to the A to the S to the K, put the mask on the face just to make the next day” -Fugees, The Mask.

“Everyday I build a mask, up to the task. Another song you see? This music always rescues me, there’s a melody for every mallady, prescription song you see.” -Passing Strange, ‘Work The Wound.’

We all where masks, because identity is an illusion, which causes confusion, and if we’re not careful we play the part but end up losing.

“But it’s never too late, to start the day over. It’s never too late, to pick up the phone, pick up the phone and call me. It’s never too late, to lay your head down on my shoulder. It’s never too late, to come on home.” -Michael Franti

I guess 99 is a bunch of song quotes and musings, I hope whoever you are have found this enlightening or at least amusing. I think of my life in song lyrics, so I’ll leave you with one more quote that I hope we all can believe in. Sung by Donny Hathaway:

“Someday We’ll All Be Free.”

Droplets in the tide, all doubts abate, my ninety-eight.

(I’m gonna write more!)

If that sounds a little familiar, it’s a nod to Public Enemy’s “Your’e Gonna Get Yours.” In this case you’re gonna get your 98th blog post and probably a commitment to write more once I get to the magical 100th, unless I ascend to another plane of existence or dimension of reality upon completion of this writing quest.

Right now, I’m just working to get through these final posts. Taking it one day at a time, and I’ve been feeling like my feet are in quicksand lately. But just like I tell the kids I teach chess to, it’s all just one move at a time. Today’s post was brought to you by chess, and an opening tribute rhyme.

As always the great mystery of the history of time. How does it move so slow, but go so fast? May we not rob this moment by dwelling on what may come, and what’s already past.

hh, “the dip.”

Coined by Seth Godin, the dip is kind of like a crash after riding high. As N.E.R.D. said in one of their songs that got me through a major heart break a decade ago, “Sooner or Later, it all comes crashing down.” Ebbs and flows, the moon is Full right now, but the waning time will return, so too shall this pass. Bob Marley says, “I guess it’s just a part of it, we got to fulfill the book.”

Despite my best efforts to avoid it this time, through meditating, writing, exercising, practicing mantras, eating right or eating what pleases me, I think I’m wrestling with melancholy. I’m a little ADHD and though I’ve never been diagnosed as bipolar, I have dealt with bouts of depression my entire life. Don’t get me wrong, I’m in a really good place right now, part of what has helped me is speaking about it openly and honestly. While never being clinically diagnosed as bipolar, I’m fairly certain I have had recurring episodes. Those episodes manifest more on the manic side for me, but then when I feel like I am right now, the lows feel more low in contrast. I have been diagnosed with adult ADHD, but I haven’t been medicated for a while.

Because of medical concerns associated with Covid-19, my wife and I recently upgraded our health insurance. So I look forward to taking advantage of getting back into some form of therapy, the medicinal kind or not. That said, I know that ups and downs are a part of life. Rainy days make us appreciated Sunny days, and rainy days aren’t necessarily bad, they are necessary. What we think of as bad weather, or bad things in life, can actually be blessings in disguise. In fact hard times are always opportunities for growth, if we’re willing to look at them from the perspective of possibility.

So we have to be grateful for what we have, even when we’re not “feeling it.” You gotta get down to get on up. Also, if you are struggling with mental health, talk about it.

Forward, March. As we slowly get more and more vaccinated, and the long winter thaws, we find things getting back to some kind of normal. We can never go back. Things will never be the same as they were before, hopefully. My guess is that things will look a lot like they did before, but a lot of us have seen behind the veil and see the illusion for what it is.

Nothing is promised, nothing is owed, and time is precious. Life, community, and the things that we do and say while we’re here are priceless. We may never pass this way again. I like to believe in the multiverse, the many worlds, and that this has all happened before. I like to think that we only get one version of this life, but that we play it over again as a different incarnation over and over again until we ascend. Ascend to where?

I’ve seen part of it in what I would now call an astral projection that I had when I was 13, back then I called it a vision. I definitely went up and way out into the vastness of the Universe, and for the first time since learning that I wasn’t gonna live forever, felt some peace with my existential crisis. That was definitely what I experienced, and what is reality but what we experience? I felt like I was part of the vast Universe and that love was the guiding principle connecting all things, the light. You are part of the vast, expansive Universe, even if you can’t see it right now. I did a vision quest about 7 years ago and saw the light within the light, the matrix of light that bonds all things seen and unseen. As Nathan Ramos said years ago in the LTOB Seattle, “Walls are breathing. Walls are illusions.” I’ve seen evidence of that over and over again.

And now the Pandemic of 2020, the revelation of the mind and time. The best year of my life until this one, the great reset, the breath, the cosmic shift. Did everything change? That depends. If you did, then yes, your whole world changed, and the level of that change depends on how much you are able to let go and let in. “Let it in, let it in!” It changed for all of us, but some will cling to the decaying structures of the past, and will wage war to try to fortify their false sense of security. But we don’t have to participate in that war, we can step out of that, and play at a higher vibration. What is for Caesar, let it be for Caesar. What’s for us, is what we name. Speak life. It’s precious, and you only have one. At least this time around.

Stories are identity forming. The stories we tell about other people, the stories we tell ourselves about the world, the stories we tell the world about ourselves. Probably the most important stories are the ones we tell ourselves about ourselves, we tell a lot of those stories. Who’s we? The voices in our head, we all have those in some form or another. I’ve heard that for some of us the voice or voices isn’t heard as an ongoing monologue, maybe it’s more image based. I can’t imagine not hearing an actual voice in my head, mine is quite loud and expressive. Sometimes it communicates in music, and when I’m paying attention I write the music down and create songs. The music of my mind.

Sometimes the voice is doom and gloom, other times it’s pride and ego. Neither are right or wrong, all of the voices are just telling stories. You get to choose which ones you want to listen to, which ones will serve you on your journey down the river. It’s easy to get trapped in a feedback loop, because some minor or major tragedy starts happening, you start only seeing bears in the road. That’s a saying my wife says, she used to tell that to me a lot, and I listened. I observed her resolve, her self belief, and I witnessed. I started telling myself a new story, and seeking inspiration and guidance on how to craft and tell better stories.

Everything changed. My whole life changed. I realize that we tell stories by what we think, by what we say, and what we do. We’re in the story, we’re being told stories, and the choices we make are writing the stories of our lives that others will tell when we’re not here. This might sound like a broken record, but I feel like this is the best time that there has ever been, right now. This moment. This story.

A lot can happen in a year.

Everything can change in a second, and infinity exists in the tiniest measurement of time that we can imagine. We’re here, and then in less than a blink of an eye to an eon, we’re gone. But life and existence goes on, and we’re forever a part of it even when we’re no longer “here.” We’re here now, not then.

How precious this time is. How wonderful it is to be able to be in wonder. I wonder, how can we live today in honor of the infinite universe that we are contributing to right now. We are authoring our part of the story of humanity, what will the book of time say about us after we’re gone?

The book of time. The story of time. I don’t know if time is recorded somewhere, but with our limited but ever growing understanding of space and time, scientists are able to decipher artifacts of the past to understand something about what happened in the pre-humanity past. We live in a time where we are recording and documenting our existence in real time, and transmitting those documents across space and time. I know that radio waves from the past are being transmitted out into the universe now, whether they’ll ever reach receivers, I don’t know. We’re still waiting for conclusive signals from outer space.

Maybe we need to tune our receivers in. How powerful it is that we can listen and see people from all over the world? What if we learned to listen to our own inner dimension, the one beyond the surface, beneath the avataar, the voice of the light within the light of the atoms that make and connect everything and every one we know? The more we can recognize that light, the more our ability to see it will grow.

Yesterday I wrote a post about how sometimes not all of the pieces come together, specifically how sometimes all the cylinders aren’t firing optimally. I also came up with the idea of getting to this writing practice earlier in the day, which I did… technically. I didn’t wait until the end of the day, as in there are still at least a few more hours that I’ll probably turn in for the night. So micro-improvements, but I find those are the best kind, and the cumulative effect can be tremendous.

Today I reflected on another question: Am I trying to do too much? The answer is, sometimes. My mentor said Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance. I’d say I’ve been planning, preparing, and implementing a lot over the past 12 months, and also the 2 years preceding those. But I want to do a lot, and so some of it is just gonna take time. As more opportunities come into the equation, the formula for success gets a little more complicated. Yesterday, I felt like I feel flat on my face with something. But I also know that I learned a lot. Failure is one of the best teachers, but the sting of failure still hurts. Especially when you know you could’ve done better. Yet, I do believe I did my best under the circumstances, prioritizing the moment. Somedays are just off. Some things, in fact most things probably don’t go according to plan. That’s why we need plans B through at least E, but probably the more contingencies the better.

What doesn’t kill us, can definitely make us stronger. And if we can step back from the sting and learn our lessons, hopefully we’ll become a whole lot smarter. Am I trying to do too much? No. I’m working on doing what I want to do. The road to getting there will just take patience, time, and a willingness to learn from mistakes and pitfalls. The more we learn, the more we grow. I was feeling kind of blue last night and this morning, I’m feeling stronger now.

As I was getting ready to type today’s entry, I discovered that I never published the one from yesterday. I also didn’t name that one, so that one is just gonna be “91” for now. Just finished “My Octopus Teacher” on Netflix, about the guy who visits the same kelp forest in South Africa everyday for about a year and develops a friendship with an octopus. I think it was also about commiting to a daily practice, seeing it through, and discovering what happens when you do that.

The biggest takeaway for me with this writing practice is just an increased capacity for creativity over time, even though there are days when maybe I’m not “feeling it.” Also, if I’m keeping it real for myself, maybe I’m not “feeling it” because I didn’t get to the writing until later on in the day, and so now it does feel more like a chore. It feels like a chore, because I want to unwind, but I owe my future self these words, so here we are. Tomorrow I can get to it sooner, today I wrote these pages. And met with people, met with some more people, walked with my wife and dogs to the park and a cafe, and then met with some more people.

In the midst of it all, sometimes I feel like some of the cylinders aren’t firing as strong as others, but I wonder if that’s how it goes. We just keep oiling the machine, and honing the cylinders so the whole thing keeps running better and better. It’s best if all the cylinders are firing optimally, but maybe those are those special moments, and we don’t have them all the time? I don’t know. There’s a metaphor there somewhere.

I guess I’m saying keep putting the pieces together as best you can, and understand that things are always gonna be shifting and moving. Sometimes things will line up perfectly, and if you’ve been working on the pieces, the magic will happen.

….I’m going to bed. Good night.

“When will the day come when we stop blaming the youth?

When will the time come when were ready to face the truth?

We got so much to live for. Which path will we choose?

I’m asking you. Yeah, you!” -I AM THE THIRD circa January 2020

I ran into Pomeroy, the most recent bass player in my band, I AM THE THIRD, yesterday. I’m seeing my original bass player, current key player, and the longest consistent member of the band, the great Kat Melen, later this week. A year ago feels like another lifetime, and it was a different reality for most of us. Some of us thought it was only gonna last a week…

3 plays, I don’t know how many songs and poems, 91 blog posts later, and over 365 days later things look a lot different. Maybe I should also get the band back together for when live music happens again. Who knows?