Once upon a time there was a bombed out year.

Things would never be the same was the one thing clear.

We’ve arrived in uncharted territory,

Things are foggy around here.

Will we slide way back down,

Or break through the cloud of fear?

Did you forget who you really are, little bird?

Said a little voice inside, I’d long denied, but finally heard.

We used to fly, but now we’re scared of falling,

But pursuing the calling is the only real safe path,

Seeking refuge with those who want to own you,

Will land you safely in a gilded cage.

Why do you keep going back,

Every time you break free?

Break through.

The plateau isn’t the refuge.

It’s okay to rest.

Rest is necessary.

Purposeful action is what you were made to do.

Be like water,

Then the shackles can’t hold you.

Grounding.

Not to be confused with grinding.

An anchoring down,

Of planting and centering.

Making sure the foundation is strong.

A pause.

A reflection.

Meditation.

And on!

Keep time.

Can you keep time?

In music keeping time means staying in the pocket.

The groove. The Flow. The Beat.

Beat.

Go forth with heart,

Show love to those you meet.

Can you keep time?

It keeps passing,

That’s why I say dance with it.

Fleeting dream warping past the eye.

The innervision.

There’s a wonderful album called Innervision.

If you haven’t heard it before,

Give it a listen.

You might find that it opens up your mind,

And changes your very perspective.

I find it difficult to write without rhythm.

So why not dance with it?

Go with the flow.

Let the vibrations take control.

Are we ever really in the moment?

Moment to moment, thinking about the last and the next.

Time travellers, all of us.

A dream.

An Illusion.

A mirage, and a vision.

Confusion.

Amnesia.

We forgot who we are.

“The experiment was a success.”

We simulated ourselves, became self-aware,

And then got lost in the frame.

Reflection.

Deflection.

Existential dread or revelation.

I stay focused on elevation,

But some heights are terrifying.

From some vantage points you can only see the fall.

Unless you go higher.

Break through the veil, and all direction becomes relative,

In the space of space, that rarified no air,

Or I’m not sure what the composite is,

But I hear it’s vacuus and cold, and weightless.

Like the ocean.

Like our soul.

We just forgot who we really are,

But we can awaken.

“God Is Love.” I’ve also heard “God Is Dead.” I guess it depends on what you choose to worship.

I’m a fan of Pharrell Williams and Chad Hugo, so I believe that Nobody Ever Really Dies. N.E.R.D.

I mean, we all do die physically, but the show goes on. And if the show goes on, then somehow so do we.

Maybe not as ourselves, or maybe as a different version of ourselves.

I like to think that each time we go higher.

Time. Space. We measure everything in terms of time and space.

But I heard those are just constructs too, like religion, and our understanding of God.

The Universe. The Multiverse. What is.

What is not doesn’t really exist. You can’t not think about something. What’s seen can’t be unseen, there’s just so much that we don’t see or even have the sense to perceive.

We are limited in our scope, not our imagination.

And if our imagination is infinite… then aren’t we?

Is it a rut or is it exhaustion?

Do we need to take a break or double down?

I know what Jocko Willink would say.

And I know what The Rock would do.

So tonight I’m gonna call it.

But tomorrow, I’m gonna get back on my early grind, and power on through.

Ruts are for the birds.

They say no rest for the weary, but the weary ones rest when it’s time to, we all do.

So while we’re here, let’s dance.

But a dance has at least a one and a two.

Choreography is counted in two-fours.

The count in goes: “5, 6, 7, 8”

And one.

The and will be our sweet dreams.

The one will be the first second of the best day there has ever been.

Ready?

And…

In recent months, if you’ve noticed an elusiveness to some topics I’ve been talking around, you’re not wrong. Especially when it comes to subjects around health insurance, and medical issues. While we’re not doing the big social media announcement yet, I’ll go ahead and say it here, I’m gonna be a Dad.

So my whole paradigm is about to, and is already changing. It feels like I’m entering a whole new phase of life. It’s a part of life I don’t understand yet, not in a direct way. I understand it theoretically, and I see what having my dog for the past 10 years has opened up my heart in a way I didn’t see coming. I can only imagine what it is like to actually be a part of bringing another life into the world, and knowing that my life all of a sudden is directly bigger than me.

I’m spilling the beans here because, most likely if you’re reading this you already know, but also for some accountability. I started blogging about my journey into fatherhood on a new blog I named The Story Of A Dad. By starting, I mean I’ve written one entry, and I’ve been putting off writing more, so this is me checking in with you and myself, saying, it’s time to get back to writing there, I’ll never be in this place “pre-dadhood” again, so documenting this experience is a way to process and later remember. For me, for you, for other future parents, and for my future child.

I’m also continuing to develop my solo play, The M.A.N. about my grandfather, father and me. The story continues, here’s to showing up for ourselves, our loved ones, our future generations and the people we really want to be.

A couple of years ago I was in Amsterdam getting ready to head back to New York, and on the final days of the trip I got a sharp pain in the back of my mouth. I knew immediately what it was, they had never been removed, so my guess was that they were my wisdom teeth finally wanting to make their entrance and exit. When we touched down I made an appointment at NYU Dental school and was lucky to have them removed pretty smoothly, and inexpensively since at the time I was in-between medical insurance coverage.

So last night we went to Gage & Tollner for a Birthday dinner for our friend Alex who works as a nurse and is fully vaccinated, and a group of us, her friends, who are all vaccinated as well. It was the first time since before the pandemic that any of us had been to a fancy dinner, and we ended up getting home super late, and after straightening up before turning in, I completely spaced on writing this before I went to bed…

So, I’m gonna write two entries today…. consider this a gap entry?

How do some movies get made, and then how do the worst possible choices keep getting made in the process of the making of these movies?

I’m not gonna say which movie we are watching, but it is a family friendly “comedy” starring two actresses that I normally love very much, playing a superpowered crime fighting duo available on Netflix. The supporting cast also features some pretty heavy hitters. The movie has it’s funny bits, but overall… how???

I would write more… but this is depleting my brain power….

I wrote a little bit about Get Out the other day, and today I was having a conversation with Laura about “Them,” which is definitely following the Jordan Peele formula to terrifying effect. It came up how my wife (who is European) didn’t find Get Out as scary as me, and I’m guessing any black person in America. In fact I’ll never forget seeing Get Out in the theatre with her, at Alamo Theatre if I remember correctly, with an audience that was pretty well balanced with black and white people, and how we had two very different experiences, sometimes even with those next to us.

Ahh, how I miss the being in a theatre, I actually had the pleasure of catching a movie a couple days ago with my fellow fully Vaccinated friend Paco the other night at Nitehawk Cinema in Williamsburg.

Anyway, back when I watched Get Out with Laura, I remember the shared laughs, uncomfortable “ahs and oohs” and that half of us were responding to the same things for different reasons. And I remember what truly terrified me in that movie, The Sunken Place, the terror of Racism and the way it oppresses our view of the world. I remember seeing it and thinking, I know that place, that’s a bad place, I don’t want to go there.

So let’s not. Let’s keep our eyes on the prize. Let us be aware of what’s going on around us, but let’s rise above it, because we weren’t born to sink. We are star people, we just forgot who we are. Do you remember?

Life is but a dream, immerse yourself in it, but don’t forget what it is and who you are. Remember.

In order to be the best version of me.

I have to free myself to be myself.

Instead of being trapped in the cycle of being the man I used to be.

In order to free myself,

I have to be myself.

No try to be the man I used to be.

My mind’s been playing tricks on me.

Wasting time on what could have been,

Instead of looking ahead, asking what could be?

Sankofa!

I do look back to try to understand

The shackles that have been weighing on me.

And when I look at the captor,

The reflection I see is me.

For the first time in a long time

I admit to myself

I want to be the Greatest like Muhammad Ali.

But that’s scary.

I could never be Ali. (in this lifetime)

Just like you can’t ever be me. (in this lifetime)

But I could be the greatest “A-L-E-C Number Three,”

That’s me.

The Greatest Me.

I’m trying to free myself to be myself, the best version of me.

I’m trying to free myself to be myself,

The Best version of me.

I’m trying to free myself to see myself.

The Future version of me, what could be.

Today Kyle Branzel led his M.O.M. (Musical of the Month) with Jesus Christ Superstar, one of my all time favorite shows.

We had a great conversation about music, religion, and the future and past of theatre. I was very thrilled to learn that JC Superstar was first presented as a concept album before getting support to develop it into a Broadway musical. I’m very much an advocate for launching projects in innovative ways.

I shared the 15 minute version of the play that I’ve been working on with my immediate family and close friends today on Zoom, and have been figuring out how I want to launch that, depending on which opportunities come my way. But the thing with opportunities is, you have to be there to be lucky. So while we like to protect our intellectual property, sometimes our caution can actually rob ourselves of opportunity and deny something to the world that can be a contribution. And usually, when you share your gifts, the return is huge.

The systems that are in place operate largely out of fear, and that’s why they’re breaking down. The world is abundant, and the Universe and the beings within it, usually want to help us on our way, so we need to start acting with that mindset to change the paradigm.

Things take time, but time is what we’re made of, so there’s no need to rush.

Jordan Peele, what have you done?

I’ll tell you what, you’ve created a whole new genre called Racism/Horror, because Racism is horror, and it is viral.

I don’t actually know if that’s what the genre is called, but that’s what it is.

Get Out, Lovecraft Country, His House, Them, and a bunch of other new titles that fall into this category are popping up every day.

And now I might have nightmares…. Thanks???

To thine own self be true.

In other words, practice the Tao of You.

Do your Dharma.

There isn’t another person in this Universe who has your point of view.

So your perspective has limitless value.

The dogs were barking, because they do what they do.

“Don’t let them fool you. Or even try to school you, oh no.” -Bob Marley ‘Could You Be Loved’

In interrogating and expanding my point of view, sometimes I get turned around. Luckily I have a brilliant wife who keeps me on course when I start to go astray, and reminds me that I’m already heading in the right way.

Sometimes I want the shortcut, even though I know that’s not really the way.

That’s why I’ve been writing so much about not being lost in the dreams of tomorrow,

Instead bringing our future vision into the present day.

“They got so much things to say.” -B.M.

So never forget that your position is pivotal, and the timing is critical.

We can no longer afford to wait.

And at the same time we have to practice patience.

That’s why I meditate.

Today was supposed to be the day.

Got up early, did the martial arts (muay thai).

Meditated.

Read from a sacred text.

Started working on a new song, and…

Crash.

Like a ton of bricks.

My bartender, werewolf/vampire days catch up with me now.

Sleep has always been a complicated friend of mine.

Is it pandemic fatigue?

Maybe tomorrow will be the day.

Today is almost yesterday.

Tomorrow will soon be today.

Today is always the best day.

Well this was a day.

Laura and I had an early morning, dealing with some exciting medical developments, followed by some midday snacks, strolls and computer shopping in Williamsburg.

When we returned home in the afternoon, I put food on the Weber grill for some late afternoon lunch before my chess lesson in Carroll Gardens. I teach chess through storytelling through a dope company called Chess At Three. If you know of any parents looking to enroll their kids in chess lessons, have them hit me up at alec3chess@gmail.com

Finally we went to the reopening of one of our Bushwick staples, Forrest Point. We had a great meal as always, followed by their skillet s’mores, which were banging even harder than I remembered, and I remembered them being delicious! You can check my IG for a pic @alecstephensiii

And now, a good night to us all!

Flies. Not the kind that land in the ointment, the kind that is a verb referring to time and how quickly it passes us by. As I write these words, my dog Fozzy is bringing me back to the present moment by pawing at my knees.

Blink.

Now it’s 3 hours later for me.

I guess there was the the several hours of Muay Thai earlier, a meeting with my new company, and some quality time with my wife… but this day really got away from me. You might say it flew by. Some times it seems like it passes slow, but…

Time flies.

“Closed mouths don’t get fed.” -Unknown Origin

“Fuzzy targets are hard to hit.” -Dean Graziosi

Both quotes get at a similar concept. If we aren’t clear about what we want, and if we can’t articulate it and ask for it, it’s very hard to recieve it. So see it, speak it, and be it. Name yourself. There is plenty not to like about the way things are in the world right now, but I believe that the only way to change that is by visualizing the world that we actually want to be in.

“If you believe it, then see it and be it, or let it be.” -Laura “Piece” Kelly

I’m down for tearing down destructive, decaying structures, but I want fo focus on building the future that is closer to the world of my dreams. Tomorrow I’m gonna write more about what that looks like to me. Tonight I’m gonna dream. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Also, speak to yourself with as much grace as you know you should show others.

My dog doesn’t like to go outside when it rains.

Let me rephrase that, one of my dogs doesn’t like to go outside when it rains, the other one goes out there and will just sit in the rain for hours at a time if you let her.

Did I tell you about the possum that regularly comes to our backyard? This is not a metaphor. Since before the pandemic started, this possum has been coming to our yard occasionally. Since the pandemic started the possum has been coming by nightly, it crawls across our back fence so our dogs can bark at it like crazy.

Speaking of which, Fozzy just came back inside, so I need to bring Arya in, before she gets sopping wet.

Just another night in the day of the life.